For faith, which gave eyes to see
and gave ears to hearts, long wearied by fear;
For the love, that in blackest of night
never strayed from it’s path and holds faithful the light;
I hold close to it’s nurture and calm
giving thanks for it’s gift, finding peace in its balm:
And dearest to this, most wondrous care
that even apart, we meet in our prayers.
It is the still raw scar upon the skin
constant irritation, ceasless excoriation –
pummeling, eroding from within
tattered doubt in its wake and whim.
Yet I reach out, for the oils promising to sooth
and gingerly, tenderly, applied
or carefully imbibed they oft do;
please, I whisper, please heal soon.
When in moments, or in minutes, or in hours
When the safe shore of day, that you are home
Seems still so very far away;
When the waiting ache laps against my soul, and seeks
to trouble me with tears forever more
my poets soul reaches for thee;
That by some magic of poor words we might feel,
Closer to that day when we reach
That safe and happy shore.
What is this trembling that stalks my body so
Electric pain taking delight, making my body
Feel like a needful unknown stranger;
Clamouring, demanding, hiding me from myself
Replacing pieces of me with turbulence
Constricting and stretching muscle at will;
I close the door, it creeps in through the window
I lock the window and its porous gas seeps
through my skin, heat seeking;
Fog, moving through my head and scattering
My memories abroad, to seek asylum
And be discovered some other summer;
My will lines up its scarce resistance fearing
Useless dependence and told that it is
my feminine madness; a woman, hysteric.
Yet betwixt the stranger and that madness that some
seek to apply to me, and call it calm –
I sometimes weep quietly for your strong arm.
You are the undiscovered country
I never thought that I would find;
You are the buried treasure, the
Seam of gold they never mined.
You are the catching breath,
The trembling heart that never rests;
You are static electricity, surprising,
Rushing joyously.
But stillness too, and sudden bliss,
Entwined in peaceful, perfect rest;
You are the colours of creation,
You are the curious sensation.
And when the passion calms,
In the well within your arms,
The precious truth still shines bright to see
That loving you is like coming home
to me
Stubbornly, you have insisted
(whilst you are disguised)
That silence is for comfort
(Please recall, love is not blind)
And love does not demand you speak,
what you feared must stay disguised
Nor seek to pull a string, or drag you home
though oft love cries
Oh darling, I am stubborn
But dearest, so are you
For stubbornly you still test love
and wander to, and fro
Oh Gruff, enough, and hear me now
please let your heart hear this
I love you, I do not doubt you
It is true
(And I stubbornly insist on this to you).
Carefully and in disguise, you went out to seek, to find
If there might be some love out there
Some love out there for you;
And found, perhaps, to your surprise
That love indeed there was to find,
A love right there, held truly, all for you
But in your heart your sorrows held
And as you wandered to, and fro
You tested love and wandered to, and fro;
Then, carefully disguised once more, you came to find
If that same love still waited there,
and still held true for you;
And found, perhaps, to your surprise
That love held true for you to find,
Though carefully disguised you still remain;
Though careful your disguise, and whilst you tease, at least allow
That love was never blind, it wasn’t then
It isn’t now.
So, our bodies
do not work
the way convention says they should;
But, it means
we can explore
the endless ways love can reveal
the different ways to live
the love we are both
truly worth
And if the place
we leave to make
that life of endless exploration
is not the place convention
might demand;
it matters not
when the place of destination
is still – naturally –
the love and joy
we are both worth
You want to give;
To make the world a better place
For those you love –
You want to give,
But worry in yourself
If you are enough.
And you think;
Oh, how you think!
About the life
You want to give
To make a better place to live
in love;
But worry in yourself
If you could ever be enough.
I think, too;
Of all I want to give
To make the world a place
Where you can live,
In love.
But worry in myself
If I could ever be enough;
When we do not doubt
each other
Why do we doubt
ourselves?
Why let that doubt rob us
of all the love
we are
both worth?
No wounds, no tears of sacred grief
No scars, no fears, no jowly cheeks;
No green cigarettes when roses are scarce,
Nor trouble of body, no worry or care;
No doubt of self or anxious mind
Could chase me away from you, or
Cause me to doubt, it’s true
If you were here now
it would always be so,
There is only my heart
full of love to say this;
If you were here now
It would ever be so,
I promise, I promise
I promise you this.
