Rape Myths and Rape Culture – Yes, I Am Still Talking About That @BoxerGifts ASBO…

Of course I am still talking about that ASBO, and I am talking about it doesn’t just trivialise rape but because it perpetuates the myths that help to feed rape culture.  And honestly, it’s obvious – from the wearing short skirts mean you are asking for it myth, to the myths about being drunk whilst being raped – it doesn’t take a genius to see how this awful ‘gift’ makes light of every trope that makes it appallingly difficult for those who are raped or abused to be believed.

And that’s before you get to the supposedly ‘light hearted’ stoning – because that’s not even a little bit racist is it? Honestly, anyone who thinks I have ‘too much time on my hands’: how is this (TW/CN) meant to be funny?

To be honest, being white and cis-gendered means that I haven’t faced any serious abuse talking about this – those privileges protect me, and I am not blind to that. But let’s also get something clear: I am not some over-wrought emotional harridan making a fuss about some harmless bit of paper. What I am angry, really truly white-hot angry about, is that we live in a culture that finds it acceptable to perpetuate the oppressions that say that this is acceptable.

I am angry at the homophobic, transphobic, racist gender norms where ‘feminine = submissive, woman = property’ that are so ingrained in us that seemingly perfectly normal people can excuse this sort of thing and can shrug it off without a thought as ‘it’s just a joke’, and mock those who challenge it as though their failure to see the problem is our fault.

The myths might be the product of an interwoven web of oppression, and made up of myriad parts, but as the lovely Zanna commented ‘we fight them on the scale of possibility.

I don’t have a hammer to smash the whole rotten structure down – but I can fight this. And whatever comes next.


@BoxerGifts, Your Rape Culture Product Has To Go… (TW & CN)

Dear Boxer Gifts

Well  I have to hand it to you – I have signed many a petition in my life, but this is the first time I have created one.

The vile and disgusting item you are selling was bad enough – your response however, can best be described as a two-fingered salute to those who approached you via social media.

How many ways are there to tell you how bad this product is? How many times do we have to say that rape is not funny, that products like these promote rape culture, that rape and abuse destroys lives?

What is it going to take for companies like yours to stop creating these products?

Boxer Gifts, when someone asks what rape culture is, we can point to your product as an example. Is that the sort of reputation you want?

Actually, to be fair, I don’t give a crap about your reputation.  I only really care that you are treating rape and abuse victims like shit with this product and your crappy response.

Do the right thing and withdraw it from sale.

Kind Regards

Ali Wilkin

For those of you who have stopped by and read this – a link to the petition is here – please consider signing and sharing it.

UPDATE: Since posting this, Boxer Gifts have removed all comments relating to this from their facebook page and if you see my comments area below, you will see someone has arrived making various disparaging comments. I suspect that this person is a Boxer Gifts employee (because of the email address they provided when submitting the comments. Also they avoided the question when I raised it). Whether or not their boss is aware of this is anyone’s guess – if they are then it’s a really bad way to deal with public concerns. And if they aren’t then they are a company who have a lot of issues…